Love.Story.

i'm finally back!! to the real world!! to modern civilisation!! to modern technologies!! omigawd!!
i'm gonna update bout OAC 2005. even tho it is damn tiring n pressurizing, yet i've nice memories too. =)

day 1:

took a cab to sch coz my bag damn heavy. ppl all rushing, doing last min stuff. like standardising etc. heard sth bad...n i broke down. bahaha. lyk wth. it's so stupid of me. recess time, munirah called me. i asked her to. coz she gg home ready. lyk so sad lah. i miss her. aft 2 whole mths wif hER! ahhhh!! at this very moment, i wanna cry ready.

den aft tt, me n aishy met shaz. erm, we thot she went up to class ready. den she reappeared frm dunno where. den we hugged before we go. even tho aishy is gg camp too, but she's instructor. so near yet so far. cant even talk to her. we planned to avoid each other. or we will juz break into laughter. yups, da bond we share. =) shaz, i hate u lah. u owe me loads of stories. who's the one nt in contact huh? huh? huh? huh???? =P

aft lunch, we surrender our medication n valuables. say bye bye to fon n money!! bahaha...say gdbye to freedom n aishy!! =P we reached camp ard 1 plus, den flag raising..den we had high elements. my class-honourable- n i'm in honourable 1, together wif other 11 ppl. HE kinda rock, but it aint nice doing it for the first act of the camp. i did criss-cross..super scary lah. astronomy wuz darn boring..!! i wuz so homesick..n gg dere makes me miss munirah more. =( so yeah, da first day n the first night, slept wif raudha. bahaha... i cried due to homesickness!!! i still feel i dun belong yet lah... =(

day 2:
had morning pt. stupid lah...i cant avoid aishy..!! she's lyk damn near!! da more i wanna avoid, da more i see her. damn tired lah...still haven adjust to camp. aft medication, gt building of solar cooker. i sat for awhile...den i felt drowsy. report to first aid base, den i slept for 2 hrs. bahaha. azy had high fever. sir chan suddenly came n touched my face. lyk woke me up lah. haiyoh. field cooking wuz okayy...learnt sth new. cooking maggi in mestins. ermz...dere again...instructor aishah wuz dere lah. lyk wth. bluek-

went for amazing race at sentosa. n over dere, i missed munirah more..!! aaahh!!! cannot tahan. we wished it wuz already nearly da last days of camp. but face it, it's only day 2. bluek- honourable 1 is so dead. i dunno lahh...cant be stuffed to rite in here. makes me heart pain... den had night walk at kent ridge park. had stomach pains lah...i felt damn homesick. coz it's only day 2...n dere is 4 more days to go. i miss everyone..!! i miss comfort!! i miss freedom!! as usual debrief, den pray, den slp. i cried at nadia in bed. slept in btwn her n jj. i spilled out to mrs woo again. i'm so sad lahh..sorry mrs woo..if i've let u down too... quoted by chief - tmr will be a better day..!!

day 3 & 4:

morning pt today abit better. maam poon made us do alot of stretching. till my arms wanna break. had low elements n games. kinda fun. da mohawk walk wuz damn fun n da class cheering together. aft today, i'd finished half of da camp. i begin to accept camp as my 3rd home. but i'm still sad...=( honourable will rise n shine amg the rest lahh!!!i luv leaders..dey all rock. den instructors oso rock. i love leader fatima lahh..heheh...my long lost god-sis. bluek- instructor SY rock...!! i love herr!!! labrador challenge everyone dead ready. alot of casualties today. including me. i din feel good. i wanted to puke... den leader jasima saw...came running. i couldnt puke lah... den i felt damn weak. den huiling n yu juan helped me.. i made jokes wif dem so i wun feel dat sick n depress. den i went command post to report attendance. on da way to first aid base, gez who i saw again?? instructor aishah!! i wuz laughing...couldnt tahan when i saw her. she n her tao face...den she asked hui ling wat happened to me.. bahahaha..aishy aishy... den she send me to base...chief n ACs were asking me to relax. bluek-

i broke down 3 times. leaders were asking me to relax...massaging my head. coz i felt weak n nauseous. instructor aishah came again. everytime she popped in, sure i break down. i dunno why. coz i miss her loads too. to think i cant speak to my dearest sis for 6 days...!! da 2nd time i broke down, chief n AC Pei Ying came in. saw me..n talked to me. chief held my hand...made me relax. she asked me to talk to her...i couldnt talk. coz i wuz on da verge of hyperventilating. chief looked at my face n she knew it's emotionally hurt. n she said i look lyk as tho my bf had dumped me. bahaha. AC Pei Ying juz stoned. den i relax ready.

da third time I Aishah came in, i broke down again. aft seeing shazwani hyperventilating n crying lyk hell. den AC Christiana came n comfort me. she damn sweet. i love her loads.. she hugged me lyk i'm her good fren...n she's lyk my bf. hahakz...bluek- she knew my internal conflict would happen. she damn smart. i love her.. i din even need to tell her who what when how why...n she could guess. den i couldnt talk well anymore...n she asked me if i haf a best fren in class...i haf only good buddies..but my best fren is an instructor. den she called Instructor aishah...n i broke down. for da first time in few days, i finally got to hug my beloved sister!! she talked to me in a sisterly way...n not in instructor way...i love my sister... i broke down lyk hell in a private corner. leader valerie oso helped comfort me. lurve u too... i cried too much till i puked.. i let it all out to aishy.. i couldnt take it anymore...i wanna go back ready..!! my class is a real disappointment. wif da class dividing. sighs.. i hate this!!! i cant take it!! mrs woo oso comforted me... yups...true...deres no point being over sensitive in life. i din join class for CI cz i felt so weak...n i slept till next morn. so shocked.. i finally had a real shower today. leader kate damn nice. tt grp in class wanna haf trashing wif me...i'm prepared for it...coz i wanna haf one too...as long as i got emotional support. got alot of casualties lah...mostly minors... only join back class drg lunch... n went for learning journeys. in da bus, sandhya talked to me...but we cant finish...coz toh kpo.. den i talked to shireen n nana. yeah...i'll take part of da blame. but nth happens wif only one person. learning journey wuz damn fun..had alot of laughing... campbell port...bahaha... kusu island okaylah...oh..i muz say...chief rocks!! AC Christiana rock my werld!!! i love dem to bits. today abit better lah...den got gpa...so sad couldnt go. cedar din get in. bi**hes got in lah..wth.

dearest sister gave letter to me n aishy today. passed to nadia. *touched* 3h is damn enthu today. i feel much better. we did alot of cheers..me n buddy tekan instructor si ning...she tekan us back lah...*peace* bahaha.. kerengetenggeh..!!! me, celesta, hong n eldora did bili-banja on da bunk bed. celesta is nw nicknamed-bilibanja. bahaha.. i miss kakak!! n i miss my parents most!

day 5:

had last pt. aishy wuz one of dem who led. so extra eh... =P had tower today. yay. abseiling rocks...maam leong damn caring lah. couldnt get to do zipline. coz no time. we created our own version of cha-chika-cha cheer. i did halfway for rockwall...coz couldnt tahan...dat place i climb got little rocks. ugh. leaders n instructors were damn encouraging. even my classmates rock too. =) had last kitchen duty. n we were late. 3m did everything. fish lah... sometimes i feel camp food is nice too...but i dun lyk da drinks..eew...

we got to slp for awhile...so gd sia...duwan us to die lyk dat time... den chief kept asking us to drink up. instructor aishah so tao lah. irritating sister. =P had bio lesson...eew...couldnt even listen properly..only we got sweets...yay!! den had camp prep. still couldnt come up wif opening cheers. but finally we did a rocking one. whee~ we got to bathe!! yay!! for the first time ever, i wuz actually nervous n shivering when talking to my sister, instructor aishah. hahakz..

campfire rocks!! but we were damn tired aft enthu during camp prep. our item damn farnie lah.. lyk impromptu liddat. bahaha...at least we got to perform...instructors rock.. leaders item rock too...coz chief danced!!! whee~ we slept nearly midnite... mrs woo smuggled ice cream float. we were all crying n we made mrs woo cried too.. we took photos...we juz love mrs woo. she damn nice lahh...=) lyk our mummy. we cry mainly coz we din win...aft the effort we had put in. =( but we lost wif pride. =) 3h rocks lah...

talked to grace n shireen till 1 am liddat.. i cried. n grace damn nice lah.. i feel really bonded wif most of my classmates. din get to do bilibanja on da beds...coz everyone damn tired. =p last debrief, so sad, so tired. chief rocks. -tmr will be a better day-

today:

we had our last meal together. 3h cleared dining hall for big sweep. aishy again appeared. argh! damn tiring lah... den we finally lowered our flag ard 9.30. reached sch ard 10 plus. finally...cedar...aft a wk... bag wuz damn heavy.. everyone looked lah...i missed seeing shaz... today oso o level results come out. i wonder hw my cuzs fared. shaz got a1 for her mt paper. oh...den leaders n instructors entertained us. we finally break camp at 12 plus. so shiok...freedom at last.. when chief said tt...immediately...aishy came...n we hugged... finally...no more instructor aishah. bahaha. did bili banja n kerengetenggeh in da courtyard..i wuz standing beside instructor SY. =) went to pp macs...craving sia. took a cab hm...finally...home sweet home... i missed everyone...esp my mum n my dad..n my buds..my adeks...my kakak... =) aaahhh...freedom!!!!!!!!!!

3H opening cheer:
(start beat)
3h rock da werld, rock da werld, yeah baby.... (beat)
never we can stand to part..(beat)
3h rock da werld, rock da werld, yeah baby...(beat)
we've got da 3h beat in all of our hearts...(beat)

afilyana; end of this chapter

today is much better than the days before.
first, the bus came earlier.. so reached sch earlier =]
den da lessons were okay. i fell asleep in ss. rite in front of her. couldnt take it lah..
den kiatt kept check whether i awake anot. bahahaha..

den had monitress council meeting. we gt to noe wat we doing for our leaders investiture item. ate lunch wif my guides-mates. well, 1st coy got 2nd for banner painting.
sth cedar guides nvr got before. yay. patrol corner wuz crap lahh... but fun!!
den went for tarian, erm, we kept practising our steps tt we got so far..
it's finally proven, practice makes perfect. =] i'm getting better at my steps. n footdrills too.
i muz comment tt we all did much much better today. panda dun cry ready hor. sining too...=]
cheerios..! i admit today is much better... =] thank god..

den shaz parents fetched us..den her parents invited me n aishy go makan at jln kayu oso. =]
rezeki cannot tolak.. bahaha...wahaha...damn tired lah... luv u ppl... oh n i luv mrs woo too... thankew! =] luv my 2 sistaz too.. =] bahahaha..

*woooooo*

afilyana; end of this chapter

sunday rocks. vday rocks too. well...sort of. sunday at noon went out wif my relatives n cuzins to sentosa. blardie hot. only visited a few places. den took da cable car back to spore. it's been a long time since we all take cable car. wuz damn scary, n we were damn crazy in da cable car.. lyk wanna fall liddat. wahahaha...choi.. den bought rose for myself n my cuzin. wahaha...poor her... her bf is miles away. went back hm late...everyone took da train...it wuz damn packed even tho it wuz almost late at night on a sunday. met someone familiar on da train. shant elaborate. yanti will noe who.. wahahaha...

well... happy vday ppl!! today the day to spread love to everyone. i got loads of chocs n sweets etc. can open shop sia. wahahaha... except on da way to sch, i wuz pissed. but nvm...let me keep in my heart. cikgu said her usual lecture on celebrating vday. she really tink we were celebrating vday canx...despite us debating dat we were celebrating frenship day. oh wateverr... hahakz...
went out wif munirah in da aftnoon. veh depressing lah...everywhere couples. den pretty in tokyo wuz damn packed. roses were also depressing. wahahaha... bought brownies for me n my sistaz...

i dunno why...but today ive been meeting ppl i usually dun meet. lyk the guy who lives a few stories above me, my 2nd cuz, my buddy etc. wahaha...fated...:P

orite...happy vday ppl!! love is patient, love is kind.

- i love my family, my relatives, my cuzins, my sistaz, my buddies, 3H n Mrs Woo!! love u peeps!! *smuakz*-

afilyana; end of this chapter

it's back to sch.. damn tired..thot wuz monday...luckily not.. took the earlier train. met shaz at bus stop. too bad 2day kena take bus ehh...takpe one day onli ehh...

emaths damn sleepy, luckily got f&n..at least time pass faster. got our coursework A. told mrs woo i class got in for oac item..she wuz damn happy. whee~ wahhh...everyone damn happy sia.. mrs chaiw nvr come..got medical appt or watever. angelina tan came in relief...wahhh we were screaming sia...whee~

well, today got no guides. so i could go for tarian full time. but hor, we spent nearly an hr doing nth besides watching the other 6 practice. we only learn a few steps as kak ely wuz making very sure tt we are doing it almost perfect.

dunno lahh...today full of ups n downs. but heck. look on the brighter side. 3h got it. i got great frens ard. can get 'high' wif dem. i got in tarian, well sort of. argh...wth am i crapping... argh argh argh...i'm juz irritated.

*for my buds, i'm sorry. for U, i'm sorry. if u juz noe hw i feel. but i haf no right. for 3h, let's rock on..we can do this TOGETHER!*

afilyana; end of this chapter

hehex...gong xi fa cai ppl..!! i'm currently bored to death. supposed to go my granny hs by nw...but my dad haven wake up yet. haiyoh.. i'm supposed to do my work or at least study. bring back bio for wat sia...hahax...

yest wuz damn screwed lahh... i went to sch damn early to get the early train...i got it...but at aljunied bus stop dat 100 bus came 20 mins later..walau.. i wuz damn late lahh...coz i had to be in sch early to get ready for my performance. raudha laughing at me....she had to walk damn fast wif me..hahakz... den i ran all the way up to AS 2... changed den started on the make up n hair... got only a few mins for all of us...n our item is lyk da 2nd one...

oh den i wore dian's red baju...which wuz damn red lah cann... damn obvious...with the sunflower in our head... we were not prepared at all lahh... den on dat blardie stage...we screwed so many times... one position wrong da whole dance will be screwed. ugh..so maluating.. damn obvious...
sigh...i tink its mostly my fault...actually ppl dunno wat wuz actually our mistake lahh....dey thot we all go wrong direction n stuff...ugh...

den beloved kak nana came to surprise us.. spent some time talking2 to her n stuff...she said we looked so radiant...hehex...seniors make us up...hehex...den had to up on stage again to sing2 songs...damn lucky my class din see me...if not i'll die of humiliation...wahahahah

den went to da mosque to do da noticeboards...ustaz became like our driver liddat...hahax...den bought for us slow food. nad n thur joined us...den i left earlier...took a cab to my aunt's hs... phew..mum din scold me..wahahaha... i fell asleep due to exhaustion...my cuz took photo of me oso i din realise..ugh...den she make up for me n my cuz...lyk got nth better to do...took photos... haiyoh...my aunts damn sporting sia...my mum..well...den i had to teach my aunts n cuzins malay dance-da basic steps...wahh...my aunts sure are supportive...even my grandma...

okayy...i've been bad enuff today...only munirah noes y... gawd..!! oh tonite gg to the mosque...yay..tonite will be the starting of a new year for muslims...yay! =) hope it'll be better than the year before...=)

afilyana; end of this chapter

aiShy*shAz*aFi

afilyana; end of this chapter

My heart, says we've got something real
Can I trust the way I feel
'Cause my heart's been fooled before
Am I just seeing what i want to see
Or, is it true, could you really be

Chorus-
Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
I need to know, before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
Through all my ups and downs
Please tell me now, before I fall in love

I'm at, the point of on relum
So afraid of getting burned
But I want to take a chance
Oh please, give me a reason to believe
Say, you're the one, that you'll always be

Chorus

It's been so hard for me to give my heart away
But I would give my everything,
Just to hear you say

afilyana; end of this chapter

i may seem happy
smiling lyk crazy
jumping lyk mad
laughing my hearts out

but deep down inside
no one except god noes
pretending nth happened
yet i cant control my emotions

i thank the ppl who had cheered me up
i thank those who i confided wif
i thank those who get me back on
i thank god.

auditions this monday. i'm so gonna fail amaths lahh.. lyk wth. it totally sucks. yest tarian sux.. wth lahh...cn she lyk reconsider anot.. den CNY concert rehearsal so farnie sia.. we were lyk laughing on da stage while rehearsing. argh...so stress sia..sometimes i duno why...wat's wrong wif me...these past few days very emotional sia.argh..

afilyana; end of this chapter

sometimes i feel i wanna walk away
wanna disappear frm all these
depressing my soul n emotions
i juz feel i juz feel

sometimes i juz dunno wat's wrong
i dunno wat to say
in da end i say the wrong things
n gosh..i wouldnt wanna say more

sometimes i juz feel baddd
coz of the things i did, the things i said
mixed emotions inside me
i'm sorry to all

even tho things are not smooth as i wish
i wun give up or walk away
i wun be irresponsible
im sorry im sorry

-ohmigawd..wth am i crapping.. i'm sorry..to one and all. to shireen[my darleeng], ziling, 'nana', my 2 sis [tho i've hurt them] n all those who had comforted me over the past few days, a big thank you to u guys..without u...god noes what state i'd be nw. sighs..hw i wish i haf someone to comfort me nw.. but everyone had been in a badd mood today...sighs.. i'm gonna study nw. hopefully i'll breeze thru my amaths test tmr. gd luck gurls..luv ya all...-

*sorry kakak*

afilyana; end of this chapter

wahahahhah...i dunno why..i feel lyk breaking down..
juz now toh took my fon w/o reason lor..lykwth..
n tears [no matter hw hard i tried to keep them in] were flowing
in emaths class...chin wuz so farnie.. wahahahaha..
okayy..dere goes my reputation as a monitress.. lyk wth...i wuzn't even using my blardie fon.. sighs..thanks 3h for comforting me.. =)

ohh...da oac item is lyk not even done... not even started lor.. n thurs is da audition...
we nvr win..dere goes cedar f&n tradition..
by hook or by crook..we must get it done tmr...!!
or mrs woo will kill us..!!

sighs...i failed my paper for the 1st time in 2005. migawd.
hope my mum still lemme join da syf team. if i do get in.
i dunno why...i'm so down...
maybe my whole sec 3 life is screwed...
but at least i haf great supporting frens n classmates ard.. =)
thanks again..

i'm juz so stressed wif all da studying n da extra activities..
i want to participate...yet i cant.. migawd...
okay..wth am i crapping..

-pls god...guide me thru...i cant help it.. pls make me stronger.. -

hapy bdae to my dear cuz.. n one for my beloved sista... =)

afilyana; end of this chapter

l'essentiel

Mémoires

Plaque à bornes

Les Gens